Filed under: kidney bean
You’re still only about 7 inches– only an inch longer than half the foot-long Italian sub your mom likes for a snack on the weekends. Your head on last check is about as big (possibly bigger) than the rest of your body. All in all, you look a lot like what I imagine a bug from Mars would look like, or perhaps, for those with more plebian imaginations, an overlarge mutant kidney bean.
Your parents are extremely concerned about how you’re faring in there. They’re very concerned that you might be uncomfortable all folded up and bumping into organs that are likely overfilled from your vessel’s rather capacious eating habits. Your mom’s OB, Dr. Anzai, however assures your parents that you have plenty of space in there… he clearly does not have a clue how much your mom can put away. Don’t worry– dad’s doing his best trying to give you some breathing room. Trust me, you’ll find this even more useful when you’re outta there…
(Another word of advice that I’d like to share with you earlier rather than later even though it’s probably a little premature but you’ll understand why when the time comes: go to your dad for help with your homework.)
